Sunday, March 15, 2009

Little Is Needed For Your Happiness!

BE HAPPY ZONE
February 25, 2009
By Lionel Ketchian

Jerry Eyster, the Westport Happiness Club facilitator at the United Methodist Church of Westport sent this interesting note. I believe your philosophy of life is very similar to that of Marcus Aurelius. Here are two quotations from Book Five of Meditations by Marcus Aurelius.

19. Outward things can touch the soul not a whit; they know no way into it, they have no power to sway or move it. By itself it sways and moves itself; it has its own self-approved standards of judgement, and to them it refers every experience.

And 34. Press on steadily, keep to the straight road in your thinking and doing, and your days will ever flow on smoothly. The soul of man, like the souls of all rational creatures, has two things in common with the soul of God: it can never be thwarted from without, and its good consists in righteousness of character and action, and in confining every thing thereto.

Jerry is quite right about the way I think, regarding happiness and Marcus Aurelius. Once you experience the power of happiness within yourself, you realize outward things cannot affect your happiness. The reason for this is simple. Let us say, for example, that something bad happens. The moment you realize it, you probably react with unhappiness, because you believe that is the only way to handle it.

When I experience something bad, I realize it is an outside cause. If I reacted to this cause without thinking, then of course, I would be unhappy as well. React to an outside cause without thinking, and you make yourself a hostage to that outside causation. If you keep reacting to problems, you will never be free from those problems. I don't react to outside causes., I examine what I want to do about the situation. I make a choice or select an option, I do not react to the situation. I cause what I want to happen and thereby influence the course of events that will happen next.

Marcus Aurelius said: "Very little is needed to be happy, it's all in your way of thinking."

The best thing you can do about a problem or something bad, is not react to it, but decide what you choose to do about it. If you decide what events you will choose, and respond to the problem with the correct option, you will not only solve the problem, but you will free yourself from the problem. Why not cause what you want. We live in an illimitable field of potentiality, but only those who are happy can choose the outcomes they desire. This is because only happy people are aware they have a choice that can give birth to the solution for their problem. Unhappy people are aware of only two things; they have a problem and they are unhappy about having a problem. When you are happy, you have unlimited, responses, choices and options because you are aware.

Marcus Aurelius said: "No man is happy who does not think himself so."

It is no wonder that Marcus Aurelius, who lived from 121 - 180 AD and became the Emperor of Rome in 161 till his death in 180 AD, found happiness. He learned it from his teacher, named Epictetus, a Greek Stoic philosopher who lived from 55 - 135 AD spending most of his life in Rome. Epictetus was a slave who became crippled, but eventually gained his freedom. Epictetus credits Socrates for his thinking. Epictetus showed us the way to happiness, fulfillment, and tranquility by spending his own life on that path. Epictetus main work was called: The Discourses. His most profound truth was: "We are disturbed not by events, but by the views which we take of them."

Other great thoughts of Epictetus: "Know what you can control and what you can't. Happiness and freedom begin with a clear understanding of one principle: some things are within our control, and some things are not. It is only after you have faced up to this fundamental rule and learned to distinguish between what you can and can't control that inner tranquility and outer effectiveness becomes possible."

There are simple, profound truths contained in Epictetus quotes. "We cannot choose our external circumstances, but we can always choose how we respond to them." And this: "Authentic happiness is always independent of external conditions. Vigilantly practice indifference to external conditions. Your happiness can only be found within." Now there is a profound truth for you, spoken 2,000 years ago, and it is still true today!

Here are some more: "Events themselves are impersonal and indifferent. When considering the future, remember that all situations unfold as they do regardless of how we feel about them. Our hopes and fears sway us, not events themselves." And this one: "Be discriminating about what images and ideas you permit into your mind. If you don't choose what thoughts and images you expose yourself to, someone else will, and their motives may not be the highest."

Epictetus has made his way into today's modern psychology because psychologist Albert Ellis, Ph.D. the founder of Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy, credits Epictetus with providing a foundation for his system of psychotherapy. Dr. Albert Ellis has written over 75 other books. His book How to Make Yourself Happy and Remarkably Less Disturbable is on my top 20 happiness books. Dr. Ellis shows you how to overcome destructive beliefs, feelings and behaviors. Dr. Ellis died in 2007 at age 93 while still practicing psychology.

4 comments:

Warrenetta Baker said...

Life's greatest happiness is to be convinced we are loved. This is a quote by Victor Hugo and I firmly believe in it. Yours is a nice blog.

hamid said...

Happiness cannot come from without. It must come from within. It is not what we see and touch or that which Others do for us which makes us happy; It is that which we think and feel and do, first for The other fellow and then for ourselves.

Anonymous said...

whats up everyone


just signed up and wanted to say hello while I read through the posts


hopefully this is just what im looking for looks like i have a lot to read.

Anonymous said...

I myself was an abused wife. My husband at the time would hit me and tell me if I had not made him mad it would not have happened. He broke my ribs,bruised me, locked me in closets, put me down in front of others, called me names and told me no one else would want me because I was worth nothing. He refused to let me cook, clean or do anything. Be cause he said I was not smart enough. This also happened in front of my sons. The beatings got worse so I had to leave. Now my life is better. I am going to collage and in a good relationship. My advice to you is to leave and get help repairing your self esteem. I can tell you from experience that it takes a long time but in the end it is worth it. You are worth more than letting a man beat you. If you stay it will never get any better no matter what he promises you. It is not your fault for what he is doing. I always thought it was my fault but learned through therapy it was not. He needs help for his problem. Unless he helps himself you cannot help him. I know it is painful to think of a life on your own but it gets better. The love of friends and family can help you. Good luck.