Friday, February 01, 2013

Authentic Power

By Lionel Ketchian

Authentic Power!

"The problem of power is how to achieve its responsible use rather than its irresponsible and indulgent use - of how to get men of power to live for the public rather than off the public." These are the powerful words by one of our past Presidents, Robert F. Kennedy.

Now more than ever we seem to be living in a world where the abuse of power has become headline news every single day! "We have, I fear, confused power with greatness," said Stewart L. Udall in his commencement address to Dartmouth College graduates on June 13, 1965.

Yes, and what an important difference! The tenth edition of Merriam Webster's Collegiate Dictionary defines the word POWER: as ability to act or produce an effect.

We want power, we fear power, but we really do not understand power. We have all heard the quote: "Power tends to corrupt and absolute power corrupts absolutely," by historian Lord Acton who lived from 1834 to 1902. He issued epic warnings that political power is the most serious threat to liberty. Consider this one: "The greater the power, the more dangerous the abuse," words uttered by Edmund Burke in 1771.

But do we understand what real power is? Maybe we must call real power - "authentic power." Authentic power is the power that comes from Being Happy. Being happy means realizing that you cannot be happy unless you are in control of yourself.

This power allows you to experience being stronger, smarter, freer and more comfortable and fully yourself. It allows you to take action. It is the power TO DO IT! It is A CAN DO attitude even if you think you can't. It lets you decide what is good for you. It means doing what you can, when you can, rather than waiting for someone or something to change on it's own. It is a method of taking charge of your life and being responsible for yourself.

It means finding the solutions to a problem, and making the best choice now. Authentic power means never volunteering to make yourself a victim. It means that you do not try to control other people. It means that you do not allow yourself to be forced into acting the way that others think you should act. It allows you to feel like you can change the world because you are taking control of yourself. It allows you to deal with difficult people and anger when it arises.

It gives you the ability to cope with fear and anxiety, forgive people and stop labeling them. Free yourself from self-doubt and despair, stop feeling guilty, and let go of the past so you don't react to the moment from your past conditioning. It means you become proactive to allow your wisdom and common sense to make the change you want to see in the next moment. Authentic power is a mechanism to access new habits to self-empowerment. This power must always include wisdom because without wisdom power is unwieldy and hard to handle.

Wisdom is nothing more than having the discipline to do the right thing at the right time. "We thought, because we had power, we had wisdom," said Stephen Vincent Benet in 1935. His words are just as true today; people seek power without seeking wisdom. "What is strength without a double share of wisdom?" said Milton in 1671. If you could have wisdom you could gain all the power you could ever require.

Charles Caleb Colton said in 1825, "No man is wise enough nor good enough to be trusted with unlimited power." This is reason enough to develop power within yourself and not give it to everyone who says they know more than you do. When you choose unhappiness you give people and circumstances power and control over you. When you are unhappy you're giving your power away. You are allowing situations to be more important than the power of control you have within yourself.

Being happy is a method of reassuring yourself that you have the wisdom to think clearly about what has happened. To trust yourself and make choices that will get you where you want to be. Authentic power means having value and meaning in your life, and this allows you to live the life you choose to live.

Happiness is power for those who practice it. It is a power that requires discipline. Power without discipline, is like a car without brakes. Power is energy and discipline is the control of that energy. Robert Louis Stevenson said, "There is no duty so much underrated as the duty of being happy." Make it your duty to practice being happy so you can make this power work for you.

"The sole advantage of power is that you can do more good." Baltasar Gracian wrote these words in 1647 in The Art of Worldly Wisdom, a magnificent book. Happy people are good people, and they are also powerful individuals. They know what they want and they know how to get what they need.

As Goethe wrote: "As soon as you trust yourself, you will know how to live." Happiness gives you the ability to use the power within you. Real power is not power over someone else; it is power within yourself. "An honest man can feel no pleasure in the exercise of power over his fellow citizens," these are powerful words by another of our past Presidents, Thomas Jefferson.

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Don't Sweat the Small Stuff!

By Lionel Ketchian

This is a true story; the name of this individual has been changed for his privacy. I had the privilege of meeting and talking to Frank, who was scheduled to have an operation to remove cancer in his stomach. . When Frank went to the doctor to get ready for the operation, he was informed that it could no longer be done. The doctor told Frank that the cancer had metastasized, therefore it was too late to operate on him.

This is bad news for anyone, but Frank meet this difficulty in his life with extraordinary peace and power. I spoke to him about where he was with his fight against cancer. I think it is very important to share this with you, because it shows what people can do when faced with a worst case scenario. Frank told me, "I am happy!" He was not happy that he has cancer, he was happy in-spite of it! This made all the difference in the world for him.

Frank had arrived at a place of peace regarding the cancer he was fighting. This peace is exceptional. He had been through it all. He had been sad, mad, and he had tears, lots of them, he had self-pity, fear, and he experienced every human emotion. Frank declared that self-pity is the worst; it brings you down and keeps you there, with absolutely no benefits.

Frank has met this challenge with weapons of happiness. He was grateful for all that life had given to him. He is grateful for his wife, his children, and his entire family. He is grateful for living his life. Armed with gratitude, he goes on to handle the cancer the doctors have told him he has.

We discussed the fact that doctors must be careful of giving "false hope." So doctors tell us the way it is. Doctors can only give us their medical opinion. We always have more available to us than that. At the same time, there is such a thing as "false despair." We must guard against this, because, once we feel hopeless or helpless we will needlessly despair. Unhappiness can be as much of a problem as the obstacle we must face.

We also discussed the saying that "CANCER is just a WORD not a SENTENCE." Once you allow that word to have control over your mind and life, your problems only get worse. Another aspect we discussed is the way to ask for healing. Unless you contemplate a full recovery, you diminish your chances for success.

The way to "beat it," is a two-part path. First, you must be grateful for being free of your cancer. In other words, thanking God in advance that you are healthy. Seeing, feeling, and being healthy and showing gratitude for this victory. After all, this is a demonstration of perfect faith, and faith is believing things that you cannot see.

The second step is to accept whatever happens. You might look at this as God having the last word. Once you walk this thin edge, anything can happen, and the very best often does. Some call it a miracle. I call it getting out of the way and letting the best happen.

Gratitude is an interesting dynamic. Unless you are grateful for what you already have, having more will never be enough. Take an inventory of what you have and learn to appreciate it. Once you operate with gratefulness you allow the very best to transpire. This is different from expecting the best to happen for you.

When you expect something, you are asking for it to happen. When you are grateful, you act as if it has already happened. This works as long as you remember to accept whatever happens for the moment. Now you have made both sides of the spectrum work for you. You have set up a "win-win, no lose" way of dealing with life and the problems you encounter. You have made peace a part of your life, and have it working for you.

"Of one thing I am certain, the body is not the measure of healing - peace is the measure." - George Melton

This article is about happiness, and finding peace even in the problems of life. It is about changing the things we can, and accepting the things we can't change. Peace and happiness give us the power to control ourselves. We can make the right choices for ourselves, because we are dealing with authentic power. We may not be able to have direct control over things in life, but we can control ourselves. Direct control of ourselves translates into the indirect control of life itself. This is our chance to allow the very best of everything to happen.

Frank is positive proof that you can be happy -- no matter what! Frank said, "You know; when I think back on my life, I realize I did not need to sweat the small stuff, and it was all small stuff."

Lionel Ketchian is the founder of the Happiness Club. He can be reached at The Web site is

Thursday, April 01, 2010

Live Longer, Be Happy!

By Lionel Ketchian
"There is only one way to happiness and that is to cease worrying about things which are beyond the power of our will." - Epictetus

Nine years ago, researchers at the University of Texas Medical Branch at Galveston reached their conclusions about the protective effect of happiness after analyzing data on 2,478 men and women. They were all 65 years of age or older.

These people were all given a questionnaire that consisted of twenty questions or statements that required a yes or no response. Sixteen of these were negative pronouncements such as "I felt that I could not shake off the blues, even with the help of my family and friends," "I thought that my life had been a failure" and "I felt fearful." The other four statements were positive, such as "I felt that I was just as good as other people," and "I felt hopeful about the future."

None of the participants had ever had a stroke at the time the questionnaire was completed. The researchers then followed the participants over a six-year period to see how their health had changed. During that time, out of the 2,478 people who took the study, 340 had strokes, and 75 of these people died. The researchers then tried to connect those occurrences to the participants' original answers to the questionnaire.

For each "yes" answer to a positive statement there was a 26% decrease in the risk of stroke. Let's take a close look at this study. There were 20 questions or statements, 16 negative ones that dealt with unhappiness, and 4 positive ones that were about being happy and optimistic. If they had answered yes to all 4 positive statements there was a 100% chance of not having a stroke. Strokes are the third most common cause of death and they are the leading cause of long-term disability among the elderly.

This study was published on Friday, March 23, 2001, in the Journal of the American Psychosomatic Society. Researchers said that this study shows that "high levels of positive effect" seem to shield older people from having a stroke. Elderly folks who often feel blue tend to have more strokes than those who are not depressed, according to the study.

I am very happy that this study has been done. We can now all see the positive effect of "Being Happy," on the health, quality, and length of life. If you are the type of person that needs proof, then here you have it - "Proof Positive," is here for you to see!

The need to become happy is one that we must learn to embrace. If it is not enough to know that it affects your health, now you know it is nothing less than a life and death matter. Your thinking, your state of mind, and the way you feel, all have a direct effect on your health.

You have a choice right now to look at things differently. Now you know that having an unhappy outlook may result in proving yourself right. Is unhappiness worth the price we'd have to all pay? NO, the price is much too high. Take control of your happiness, it is one of the most important things that you can do. Do you really think you can control all the people and circumstances in your life? You will wear yourself out trying. Take control of yourself, which is where your power lies.

"At every single moment of one's life, one is going to be no less than what one has been." - Oscar Wilde

If you are unhappy now, then in the next moment you will be no less than you have been, and that is unhappy. The good news is that this can work the other way for you. If you decide to be happy now, your next moment will be no less than what it has been. Your happiness or unhappiness is your intention to decide how things will continue to be. If you decide to be happy, than you have sent that intention ahead of you to act as your trailblazer for the path you shall travel. Life is hard enough without being your own worst enemy!

Walk with happiness, get the feel of it in your stride, in your head, and in your heart. You will experience the very best that life has to offer you. Of course you will encounter negative things along the way, just like anyone else. But you will be taking the high road in life and you will be doing the best you can with what you have. You will feel happiness within yourself and you will spread it naturally and effortlessly to everyone you meet, the happy and the not so happy.

By taking happiness for yourself, you will be able to give it to others. How can you give away what you do not have. Another important aspect about living a happy life is the fact that you will be spreading happiness in the world. This world needs happiness more than anything. What a wonderful gift your happiness will make. You will make all the difference in the world, and you will do it by "Being Happy."

Avoid having a stroke, Live Longer, Be Happy!

Tuesday, March 23, 2010


By Lionel Ketchian

The three most important things about real estate are LOCATION! LOCATION! LOCATION! It's just as true when it applies to your HAPPINESS.

Like most people, you're probably looking for happiness. Our country is founded on the principle of the "pursuit of happiness." We have grown up being told, and believed, that happiness is out there...somewhere. Happiness cannot be found "out there," because it's within you! Happiness is a matter of LOCATION! LOCATION! LOCATION! If you cannot find happiness where you are right now, where are you going to find it?

The pursuit of happiness is wonderful way of finding happiness. You must pursue happiness is the right way. Often it leads you to the very opposite, which is unhappiness. As long as you think someone else will make you happy, you have taken the power away from yourself to make it happen.

If you are waiting for the right things to happen, so you can finally be happy, then you are losing valuable days of your life. You are waiting to finish school, so you can get on with your life, and get a good job so you can pay for your education and make a living. You're waiting to find someone nice, so you can have a loving partner and get married, and have kids. Then. you wait for the kids to grow up, catch up on the bills for the kids, and the house, so you can be happy. You hope the kids finally leave the house so you can be happy. You try to make enough money for retirement so you can finally be happy. Happiness has somehow eluded you.

Happiness will not be your mate, your marriage, your kids, your house or your money! Happiness is not found outside of yourself. Happiness can only be accomplished from the inside out. When you need reasons to be happy, you end up with reasons to be unhappy. Why does that happen each and every time? Life will never be perfect enough for you to be happy. You must first be happy, for everything else to finally be perfect enough.

Once again, happiness is a matter of location. As long as you put your power outside yourself, you allow someone, or some thing else to have power over you. You will not be happy. The same is true of allowing yourself to be happy when the situation gets better. Great! Now you're happy because things are finally going the way you want. However, just as soon as the situation becomes worse, you become unhappy again. You must ask yourself is if you were ever happy to begin with.

Many times you end up getting the situation you desire in life, and yet you are still unhappy. Worrying about losing something prevents you from being happy. It's strange, because you get what you want, than worry about losing it. This is the way millions of people live their lives. They just don't know where happiness is located.

Why give people, events, situations and even serious illness power over you? Change what you can, and don't give the things you can't change power over you. Happiness is an issue of power. When you give your power away to any of life's situations, you lose your happiness. It is so important to not give up your power, which is your happiness. Think about it, if something makes you unhappy, it has power over you, right? If a person makes you unhappy, it's an issue of power. They seem to have the power to make you unhappy, the truth is, you have given them your power. Remember to take it back, it belongs to you!

We think we have to get loud and angry or get mad, get sad, or get even, to change things. In other words, we think we have to become unhappy to get what we want. It is a current belief that acting unhappy is a powerful way to change things that you don't like. Actually the opposite is true. When you stay happy, you are exercising your power. Staying happy allows you access to your wisdom. Stay with your happiness, it's what you want. Think about a time when you were unhappy. Take a good look at how you felt when you were unhappy. Is it worth feeling like that for anything? No, of course not! Staying happy will get you what you want much quicker, and better than unhappiness ever will.

In the book, As a Man Thinketh, by James Allen, he says, "Let a man radically alter his thoughts, and he will be astonished at the rapid transformation it will effect in the material conditions of his life." Remember that what has happened is not as important as what you do about what has happened.

The next time someone asks, "Where do you find happiness?" Tell them it is all about location, location, location. Tell them they are standing on the very spot for finding is right there within themselves.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010


By Lionel Ketchian

We recently celebrated Valentine's Day, so let's talk about matters of the heart. On Valentine's Day you think of love. But let me ask you this question; what is love? Of course it is about your feelings for another person. Where does love come from? I'll tell you where! Love comes from your happiness. Think about it for a minute. We talk about finding the love of our lives and living happily ever after. Do you know anyone that wants to get married so they can live unhappily ever after? I don't think so. Although many people fall in love to become happy, many eventually become unhappy nevertheless.

A happy heart is a loving heart! Happiness is where love comes from. When you are happy love is there. When you first fall in love, the other person seems so perfect. You don't see any faults, you see only beauty and you're in touch with only wonderful feelings for them. It may take days, months, or years, but you begin to wonder what happened to this person you fell in love with. Why have they changed so much? Did you really know them in the first place? What happened to them? Maybe it's you? Maybe you changed your expectations of them. Maybe, you fell out of happiness!

You cannot feel love toward another unless you are happy. Happiness is the foundation for love. Much of the time people want to be loved. They want to be loved because they do not love themselves. The reason for that is they are just not happy. If you can begin living your life with happiness, love would find you so fast, you would not believe what happened. The way it seems to happen is we are unhappy, so we need someone in our life to fill the void.

We go out and look for someone to love, desperately. Even if someone would, or could love us in that state we would still soon be unhappy. This is because we are unhappy and we are looking for someone to make us happy. Even if the other person you loved were happy it would not be enough to make you both happy.

We need to learn the art of Being Happy. Once we are happy we will go out and attract, or be attracted to someone who is sincerely happy. Instead of being unhappy and finding someone to fill the void, being happy allows us to find someone to share our joy. WOW! What a winning combination that would be. Two people who are happy could really find and share love, and it would be the real thing. Love can only grow in a happy environment, which is part of your very soul.

What is happiness? It is unconditional acceptance of life, the good, the bad, and the ugly. Once we can understand unconditional happiness we can love, and be loved. Part of what I am talking about is accepting yourself for all your parts, the good, the bad, and the ugly. Once you do that you realize you are good enough. In fact you're perfect! When you feel good about yourself it is then that you can improve yourself. In fact Being Happy is the best self-improvement exercise that I know of.

How many times have you heard that you need to learn to love yourself? People ask me if it is self-centered to love yourself. The answer is no! When you love yourself you are gentle on yourself, and you can more easily be that way with others. It's when you are self-centered, rather than self-loving that the problems start.

Self-centered people want to talk about themselves all the time. They don't really care about others. This is what a self centered person might say: "Oh, here I am talking about nothing but myself, I have been talking about myself for twenty minutes, enough of that. OK, it's your turn to talk about me." This is a joke of course, but there is a lot of truth to it.

Self-centered people want everyone else to tell him or her how great they are. They want other people to love them, but they can't love back. Why? The reason is; they are just not happy. A person who is self-centered is not Being Happy and must constantly look for happiness. Self-centered people have no love for themselves so they have none to give others.

A self-loving person is happy and wants to share their happiness and love with other people. Self-loving people love themselves, so they are in touch with love within themselves. That is where they get the love they have to give others. When you love yourself, you are connected to yourself. You know yourself, and you have healthy self-esteem. You love others as much as you love yourself.

It is so important to be happy. We must learn to detach our sense of worth from outside things and place it within ourselves for a real sense of worth. After all, how can you give love unless you have love to give? How can you give happiness, unless you have happiness? When you have happiness within you, you can reach within and give love to another.

If you want to live happily ever after, then be happy now. This is the way to real love. People stop loving because they decide things that have happened are more important than their happiness. If you want to love forever than don't give up your happiness. Allow Being Happy to show you the way to deal with obstacles and the problems that get in your way in life.

Remember no one is perfect. We are all doing the very best we can. Though it does not look like people are doing their best...they are. It may not be the best you can do, but given their life experience, fears, hopes, and thinking, it is the best they can do at the time. Let's not be too hasty to judge others, especially the ones we love.

Love flourishes in happiness, love multiplies and overflows in a rich and happy heart! Have a heart - Be Happy, and you will be more loving. Happy Valentine's Day! I Love You with a happy heart.

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Lighten Up! Be Happy!

By Lionel Ketchian

How are those New Year's resolutions you made going for you? You may have made it through the first week and now you realize you're not keeping them. Don't be hard on yourself; Lighten Up! Be Happy! You say you would like to be happy, but you have problems. Guess what, everyone has problems. Stop letting your problems affect you.

Are you worrying about your problems? Most people allow worry to get the best of them. Worrying is not going to solve your problems. In fact, worrying is just another problem for you to deal with. Thinking about your problem is not worrying. That's because thinking is directed toward solving the problem. Think about the solutions you have available to you. When you come up with solutions, you will not need to worry about your problems.

According to one survey of white-collar workers, most of them have or would have made reducing stress their number one resolution, they felt that it was even more important to them than losing those extra pounds or to stop smoking.

Lighten Up! Be Happy and you will reduce stress in you life as well as find solutions to your problems faster. You will even find better solutions because you will be in a better frame of mind. Lighten Up! Change your attitude. Your attitude is a part of your problem. Attitude has a dramatic effect on your problems and your life. How does lightening up and being happy have a positive affect on you life? I'll tell you the secret if you promise to tell everyone. It is all about POWER. Energy is power that you have control over. Energy is Power and Happiness is Power. Happiness is energy of the highest order. Happiness is your power source, get connected! As a source of power it can produce energy. Energy is all around us, so it's not about finding energy and using the energy, it's about tapping into your power supply.

Your connection is happiness. To prove it to you look at the opposite, which is unhappiness. Unhappiness is a feeling of being disconnected. Unhappiness is about being cut off from the energy that we feel when we are happy. Look at how we describe both states of being. We describe unhappiness as being down and out or feeling low. We describe happiness as feeling high or being in the flow. Happiness is our connection to power. Happiness is our connection to one another. When we experience happiness with another human being we feel connected. Laughter produces the same results, and as an aspect of happiness, it makes us feel better. It's an energy producer, and it is a source of power because it brings people together.

Remember the old saying, "Laughter is the best medicine?" A medicine changes a weakened state into a healthy, more powerful state. To be able to lighten up and laugh may be one of the most powerful things you can do, especially when things are not going well. When a family member, a friend or you are not feeling well, or maybe are fighting a serious illness, how can lightening up and being happy change such a serious situation? Lightening up can be the most powerful thing you can do in a serious situation. The reason is that you are taking control of yourself. That is real power! To laugh often and much, especially at your self, can create the energy you need to help you have the power and energy to overcome the illness.

Whether you have medical, financial or relationships problems, Lighten Up and Be Happy and notice the positive benefits. What are they? Being happy when everything looks bad makes you take charge of the situation and yourself. You are not allowing the situation to tell you what to do. Once you become unhappy, you are letting the problem tell you what to think and how to act. When you can be happy in the worst situation you, become the most powerful person in the world. You become who you really are. Problems do not make you; they reveal who you really are.

Everyone wants to be happy. To really be happy, you must learn happiness is a cause, not an effect. Almost everyone lives his or her life with happiness as an effect. People want happiness, and hope it comes to them in their day to day lives. People wake up in the morning hoping it will be there in a compliment or in something that happens to them during the day. The problem with happiness as effect is no matter how many"good things" happen, you will let the smallest "bad thing" takes it all away. This is the real reason most people do not find happiness "out there."

There is another way to live your life. Live your life with "Happiness as a Cause." OK but how do you do that? Decide to be happy -- no matter what. You wake up in the morning and decide to be happy. You go through the day and experience people and events that would make most people unhappy, Not You! You're too smart for that. You know that you, and only you, are in charge of your happiness, no one else is. You wouldn't want anyone else to be in charge of your happiness.

The secret to living your life is to: "Lighten Up! Be Happy!" This is your power source for energy, rarely experienced by most people. Yes, it does take discipline to stick to the resolution to be happy. It is worth it, believe me. Nothing makes more sense than Being Happy. It will carry you from the valleys of despair to the mountaintop of joy.

You have a right to be unhappy. I cannot talk you out of it. Most people have allowed unhappiness to be the strategy to living their life. Does it feel right to you? Of course not! There is another way. Lighten Up! Be Happy and you will be the cause of what you experience. No one can change your attitude without your permission. Sometimes things will go your way and sometimes they won't. You may not always get to choose what happens, but you always get to decide how you will think about what happens.

Lighten Up! Be Happy. Become the most powerful person you have ever known. Another important key is that you must want happiness even more than you want to get rid of your problem. Happiness will give you the energy to overcome your problem, if it is at all possible. Control your power and you control your problem. Happiness is the power you have, choose it and use it well. The real secret to happiness is don't wait for it to happen, make it part of your life.

Tuesday, February 16, 2010


By Lionel Ketchian

If you would like to find a way out of your unhappiness then let's begin by understanding that happiness has value and that is what you want for yourself in all cases. You could make the happiness decision for yourself. Once you do that you could be making better choices regarding the way you are acting and doing things in their life.

Once someone makes the happiness decision, they begin to do good things for themselves. If you don't start with doing what is good for you, you will not be able to do good for others. Most unhappy people want to do good for others. They think it is the right thing to do by doing good. You are not a good enough person until you are happy, because then you will be happy and do good happily.

It is great to "do good" for others. It is wonderful to "do the right thing," for others. Forget about others for now. You are not good enough until you are happy. Then you will be good and happy as well. You must attend to yourself first. If you don't have yourself in order, which is using happiness to your advantage, then your life will not be in order as a result of your not taking care of the one thing that counts in your life, you and they way you use your thinking.

You must ask yourself, what if I don't give a gift, or make a call, what is the worst that can happen. Why do I have to drink wine, so I can fit into the crowd and feel like I am making others happy? Find happiness for yourself first and then you can gift it to others.

This means you will begin to examine every single thing you do. You begin to do nothing without making a choice about doing it. You might start by acting like you are happy and then watch what you do or don't do. It does not matter what you do or don't do; it matters what you are being. Once you are being happy, everything you do will be the right thing for you. Believe it or not, it will also be good for others as well. If others don't want you to be happy that means there is something wrong with them.

Once you are being happy you begin to realize that you can recognize when things make you unhappy. Go back to being happy and in that higher state, you can more clearly see what your choices are regarding the problem or situation you are faced with. You may not have a choice about what you want to do and what you must do. But you always have a choice to do it with happiness no matter what.

You don't have to believe this, you only need to apply it in your life. You will feel the power of happiness working for you until you extinguish it with your own negative thoughts.

Yes, it is never the situation that makes you unhappy. It is your own thoughts and negative reactions that make you unhappy. It does not matter as much what happens, it is your reaction that matters most. Do you know why this is? The reason is that when something bad happens, it happened and it is over and done with. It may not even exist. It is your thoughts about the thing that happened that you are still living with, not the actual thing.

It is like saying that it is cold outside, it is 25 degrees out today. So you go outside and take all your clothes off because you don't like the fact that it is cold out. That sounds crazy, right? It is exactly what we do when we don't like a situation; we do what is bad for us. Our unhappiness is what we have to live with, not the problem. And our unhappiness will not be a solution to our situation. Our happiness will find the very best choice that we can use as a solution to the problem. This immediately makes us feel better, or at least does not make us feel unhappy.

If you are unhappy you are allowing the world and everything in it to tell you what to do, feel and think. If you like being controlled by everything than continue using unhappiness as your strategy for living. If you are unhappy, then that is proof positive that you have given your power away to people or to circumstances and situations. It is not your fault that you have been doing that because, until now, you did not know a better way. Now that you know you have a choice, it is your responsibility to use happiness to your benefit. Now you know better than putting your hand on a hot stove.

Do I think you should be happy? No, I don't care what you do. My job is done; I am showing you that your happiness is your decision and that you can choose it in any situation. It is your business what you do with the information and with this strategy. You can choose to learn more about how to use happiness in your life. You can read about it, go on the web, go to meetings regarding it. There are unlimited things you can choose to do to lift yourself up in life, but you can only do what's best for you when you are in a calm, happy mental state of mind.

If you have been making the unhappiness decision, you can now make the happiness decision. Once you make this happiness decision you can choose happiness in every situation. Only when you are aware that you can make the choice to be happy is the choice available to you. You can't make the choice that you are not aware of. The next time you are unhappy and blame it on something else, remember that you forgot that you had the choice to be happy. It is not possible to be happy with a victim mentality. A happy person has that choice and an unhappy person does not know they have that choice.

It is your life and you don't get to choose what happens, you can always choose your response. The way you have been, is a function of what you have already decided is true for you, and your life. Instead of using your past to decide what your future will be, you can always make the happiness decision now.

The only question to ask yourself is; Am I going to choose something good or bad for myself. Am I going to choose to be my own worst enemy, or my own best friend? Your decisions not only dictate your life; they are your life. Choose well my friend.