Happiness Is A Chickadee!

April 4, 2007
BE HAPPY ZONE
By Lionel Ketchian

A few winters ago I was putting sunflower seeds in the bird feeder for a big snowstorm we were expecting. I decided to try to hand feed some birds in my backyard. I put some crushed walnuts in my right hand and extended it. I stood absolutely motionless, and completely quiet on that cold winter day.

Within a few minutes, for the first time in my life, a bird landed on my hand. It was a Black Capped Chickadee, a cute tiny bird. It flew onto the tip of my fingers, picked up a piece of walnut and flew off to enjoy it. Soon it returned to land on my hand again. This time it picked up a piece of walnut and dropped it on the ground. Then it picked up another and dropped that on the ground as well. Finally it selected a third piece, which must have been just the right one, and flew off with it. It trusted me enough to take its time and make sure it had a nice delicious piece.

It was not long after this event, that I realized I had read a quote about the butterfly and happiness. Nathaniel Hawthorne said, "Happiness is a butterfly, which, when pursued, is always just beyond your grasp, but which, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you." Now I can say, "Happiness is a Black Capped Chickadee, a cute tiny bird, which, when pursued, is always just beyond your grasp, but which, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you."

For me, an interchange with nature is an unforgettable occasion in my life. It is nothing less than a spiritual experience. The experience with the Chickadee made me realize that happiness requires us to quiet down and allow things to come to us, not frantically chase after them. The more we pursue things that are beyond our grasp, the more they move away. The faster we pursue them, the faster they move away. Happiness requires us to relax, become quiet, and act as if we will get what we expect, without being upset when we don't.

Happiness, like the greatest things in life, requires patience, gentleness, and knowledge of what is possible. I had received a book called Hand-feeding Backyard Birds from my kids. I read it and knew what kinds of birds are most likely to be hand fed. I also knew which foods were their favorites. But when I first read the book, I thought that I'd never be able to do it. I believed that the odds were against me.

Being happy is a similar thing. You may not think you can do it, but if you learn enough about happiness, you can do it and you will do it when you realize it has been done by others. People did not believe it was possible to run a mile in less than four minutes. As soon as one person did it, that record was then broken over and over again. What one person can do, anyone can do.

How can I be happy? You can be happy by making happiness a decision, and by choosing happiness all the time. You can be happy by not allowing a situation, or a person to make you unhappy. Don't give up your happiness, because happiness is what we all want more than anything else.

Why is happiness so important? Happiness is an issue of power! When things make you unhappy, you lose your power. You give your power away to the things that make you unhappy. When you allow someone to make you unhappy, you are giving your power away to that person. So take your power back!

What if something bad happens? This is the time that you need happiness most of all to deal with hard times and stress. Happiness should be your strategy for dealing with negative things. When bad things happen, you need all the balance, wisdom and endurance you can find. Happiness allows you to gain access to your emotional intelligence. Happiness is your connection to yourself. It is in times of difficulty that you need to control your thinking, so you do not allow negative thinking to control you. Your reaction to the event is caused by the way you think about the event, not the event itself. You become unhappy as a result of your thinking, not as a result of what has happened.

How can I make happiness work for me? The decision to be happy allows you to find out when you are off track. As soon as you realize that you are unhappy, you are in control of changing your thoughts to allow you to choose happiness and get yourself back on the right track again. You can practice being happy even when you feel unhappy. When you pretend to be happy, you start to make yourself feel happy. When you act as if you are happy, you become happy. Once you are operating with happiness, you access your best thoughts, change your negative ones, and your whole state of mind is more peaceful. Your mind becomes flooded with choices, alternatives, and options. You begin to have ideas that will enable you to find the best solutions to the problems you are facing.

What if there is no solution to my problem? If there is no solution, then, you have no problem. You have something that you do not like and cannot change. In this case you are the problem. You will remain unhappy unless, and until you change your attitude toward what you think will not change. Remember the Serenity Prayer and let happiness show you the wisdom to know the difference between what you can and cannot change.

Do I have to live with what I don't like? If you can change it -- change it! If you can't change it, then learn to love it, or it will make you unhappy. Once you change your attitude about the thing you can't change and don't like, it usually changes all by itself. When you stop fighting with what you can't do anything about, the problem usually vanishes. What you resist -- will persist.

Is happiness always just beyond my grasp? Sit down quietly and keep your mind open to give happiness a place to join you. Smile...it becomes you!!!

Lionel Ketchian is the founder of the Happiness Club. He can be reached at PrintLRK@aol.com. The Web site is www.HappinessClub.com