By Lionel Ketchian
If you would like to find a way out of your unhappiness then let's begin by understanding that happiness has value and that is what you want for yourself in all cases. You could make the happiness decision for yourself. Once you do that you could be making better choices regarding the way you are acting and doing things in their life.
Once someone makes the happiness decision, they begin to do good things for themselves. If you don't start with doing what is good for you, you will not be able to do good for others. Most unhappy people want to do good for others. They think it is the right thing to do by doing good. You are not a good enough person until you are happy, because then you will be happy and do good happily.
It is great to "do good" for others. It is wonderful to "do the right thing," for others. Forget about others for now. You are not good enough until you are happy. Then you will be good and happy as well. You must attend to yourself first. If you don't have yourself in order, which is using happiness to your advantage, then your life will not be in order as a result of your not taking care of the one thing that counts in your life, you and they way you use your thinking.
You must ask yourself, what if I don't give a gift, or make a call, what is the worst that can happen. Why do I have to drink wine, so I can fit into the crowd and feel like I am making others happy? Find happiness for yourself first and then you can gift it to others.
This means you will begin to examine every single thing you do. You begin to do nothing without making a choice about doing it. You might start by acting like you are happy and then watch what you do or don't do. It does not matter what you do or don't do; it matters what you are being. Once you are being happy, everything you do will be the right thing for you. Believe it or not, it will also be good for others as well. If others don't want you to be happy that means there is something wrong with them.
Once you are being happy you begin to realize that you can recognize when things make you unhappy. Go back to being happy and in that higher state, you can more clearly see what your choices are regarding the problem or situation you are faced with. You may not have a choice about what you want to do and what you must do. But you always have a choice to do it with happiness no matter what.
You don't have to believe this, you only need to apply it in your life. You will feel the power of happiness working for you until you extinguish it with your own negative thoughts.
Yes, it is never the situation that makes you unhappy. It is your own thoughts and negative reactions that make you unhappy. It does not matter as much what happens, it is your reaction that matters most. Do you know why this is? The reason is that when something bad happens, it happened and it is over and done with. It may not even exist. It is your thoughts about the thing that happened that you are still living with, not the actual thing.
It is like saying that it is cold outside, it is 25 degrees out today. So you go outside and take all your clothes off because you don't like the fact that it is cold out. That sounds crazy, right? It is exactly what we do when we don't like a situation; we do what is bad for us. Our unhappiness is what we have to live with, not the problem. And our unhappiness will not be a solution to our situation. Our happiness will find the very best choice that we can use as a solution to the problem. This immediately makes us feel better, or at least does not make us feel unhappy.
If you are unhappy you are allowing the world and everything in it to tell you what to do, feel and think. If you like being controlled by everything than continue using unhappiness as your strategy for living. If you are unhappy, then that is proof positive that you have given your power away to people or to circumstances and situations. It is not your fault that you have been doing that because, until now, you did not know a better way. Now that you know you have a choice, it is your responsibility to use happiness to your benefit. Now you know better than putting your hand on a hot stove.
Do I think you should be happy? No, I don't care what you do. My job is done; I am showing you that your happiness is your decision and that you can choose it in any situation. It is your business what you do with the information and with this strategy. You can choose to learn more about how to use happiness in your life. You can read about it, go on the web, go to meetings regarding it. There are unlimited things you can choose to do to lift yourself up in life, but you can only do what's best for you when you are in a calm, happy mental state of mind.
If you have been making the unhappiness decision, you can now make the happiness decision. Once you make this happiness decision you can choose happiness in every situation. Only when you are aware that you can make the choice to be happy is the choice available to you. You can't make the choice that you are not aware of. The next time you are unhappy and blame it on something else, remember that you forgot that you had the choice to be happy. It is not possible to be happy with a victim mentality. A happy person has that choice and an unhappy person does not know they have that choice.
It is your life and you don't get to choose what happens, you can always choose your response. The way you have been, is a function of what you have already decided is true for you, and your life. Instead of using your past to decide what your future will be, you can always make the happiness decision now.
The only question to ask yourself is; Am I going to choose something good or bad for myself. Am I going to choose to be my own worst enemy, or my own best friend? Your decisions not only dictate your life; they are your life. Choose well my friend.
