Tuesday, September 15, 2009
BE HAPPY ZONE
By Lionel Ketchian
You are about to read the first happiness guarantee ever made. If you follow what I am about to reveal to you, I guarantee your happiness. If you choose not to follow it, you can have your unhappiness back. This is the most direct method you will learn. It is simple, I promise you! It is simple, but it may not be easy. Since it is simple you will remember it and be able to practice it until it becomes a positive habit and it becomes natural for you.
First and foremost, you must make the decision that being happy is the most important thing for you to be and to do. Once you understand that your happiness really counts, you are ready for the next step. I want you to NOT CHOOSE TO BE UNHAPPY in every moment. Yes, that is the secret. Once you understand that being happy is important and necessary to your well being, you will be ready to take charge of your emotional and rational capacity as a fully functioning human being.
When you encounter a situation that is not going the way you would like it to go, learn to make a choice about what you are going to choose to do. But, do NOT CHOOSE TO BE UNHAPPY. Don't make that choice. Every time you become unhappy, you are choosing it. How does it feel to have a problem and also have to deal with your unhappiness on top of all that? It doesn't feel good, does it? No, it doesn't! It is time for you to stop terrorizing yourself. It is time for you to become your own best friend.
The reason that not choosing unhappiness works so well, is that as soon as a bad situation presents itself, you react to it and make unhappiness your choice. What you could be doing is choosing the best possible solution. In order to do this, it requires a balanced state of mind. If you did not choose unhappiness, you could maintain a state of well being that supports your most creative problem solving strategies.
When you are not happy, you are letting your thinking make the worst possible choice you can possibly construct. This may sound very extraordinary to you, but by not choosing unhappiness you are controlling your thinking. By thinking about what to do in an unfavorable situation, you will react with consistent negativity.
It has become extremely important to control our thinking. I am not just talking about negative or positive thinking, but all of our thinking. The problem with our thinking is that we have absolutely no control of it and therefore, our thinking has gained absolute control over us. Our thinking is making us unhappy. When we are unhappy, it is because we are choosing it.
The only way you are ever going to be happy is by not choosing unhappiness. Every time you are unhappy, you have engaged your thinking to take control of your emotions and your state of being. Once you connect to unhappiness, you have lost your inner peace. You are operating from your negative thinking, moods and feelings. In fact, when you are unhappy, you are giving your power away. Being unhappy is just another term for being powerless and feeling helpless. Why would you go though life allowing yourself to feel that way? Why would you allow yourself to experience the worst possible outcome?
I will tell you why you do it. You are not happy because you do not know how to not choose unhappiness. It has become a reaction, a conditioned reflex. You are not happy because being happy requires a great deal of consciousness and awareness. You choose unhappiness because you are not aware you are doing it. Everyone else does it so why not go along with the crowd, right? Well, it is not right. It is time for you to take your power back by not choosing unhappiness every time things don't go the way you wish they would.
Wake up and take your power back. Become aware of how you choose unhappiness in unpleasant situations. Being more aware of how you lose your power, you can gain control of your life. As Henry David Thoreau said, "Above all, we cannot afford to not live in the present." Rabbi Zelig Pliskin just wrote a great new book called Life Is Now! Rabbi Pliskin is the author of 24 books including the best book on happiness called: GATEWAY TO HAPPINESS.
Become more aware of how you react when you automatically and unconditionally choose unhappiness. I want you to make not choosing unhappiness a contract with yourself. You only have to think about the happiness decision. Once you have done that, you don't need to use your thinking anymore because that will lead you to choose unhappiness again.
Choose your unhappiness wisely, because it will cause much devastation in your life. Unhappiness is a choice, don't make it! You will learn to make less often, or at the very least, you will see why choosing it will keep you unhappy! My friend, you deserve to be happy! As John Milton wisely stated, "The mind is its own place, and in itself, can make heaven of Hell, and a hell of Heaven."
Lionel Ketchian is the founder of the Happiness Club and can be reached at PrintLRK@aol.com. The website is www.HappinessClub.com.
Thursday, September 03, 2009
BE HAPPY ZONE
By Lionel Ketchian
You're driving down the highway or you're stuck in traffic. You're not happy; you're thinking about something that is really bothering you … and you don't know what to do about it. Maybe you just had a fight with someone. You have a problem, and you can't seem to find the solution. Things are not making you happy. The bumper to bumper traffic is not making you happy. People certainly are not making you happy. So how can you be happy? Can life make you happy? Can you change the situation enough so you can make yourself happy?
Will you ever "find" happiness? The answer is NO! You will never find IT, you have to become IT! There is no way to happiness; happiness is the way! Is it possible to be happy? The answer is YES! Here is another question for you. Is it possible to be happy all the time? I know you are probably thinking that is impossible. You're right, but that only goes for you. In life, you can be right or you can be happy. Which one have you been choosing? The good news is you only need to be happy.
I've been happy for over 18 years now, and things have been great; I'm not saying I don't have problems. Happy people have problems just like unhappy people. They are happy in spite of their problems, making for a better environment in which to deal with the problems. It is the way we deal with problems, that makes the real difference.
Everyone wants to be happy. Being Happy, not wanting to be happy, or pursuing happiness, is the goal. As Aristotle said: "Happiness is the meaning and the purpose of life, the whole aim and end of human existence." Being Happy is my most important job. All you need is the desire to be happy. There is no other way to be happy than to understand how to do it or have someone show you how. Happiness is a learned response. Find someone who is happy and model that person, so you can learn how to be happy as well. It does not matter what your situation or circumstance is. What matters is your intention.
Happiness must be premeditated. You can't find it OUT THERE! You have to bring it with you. When you practice Premeditated Happiness, you go into every situation bringing your own happiness with you. You have your own reservoir to dip into. You don't have to look for it; you just need to practice being happy.
I gave a course on Happiness (Personal Power & Success through Happiness) at Sacred Heart University. Students who took my course received a "Bh.D." (Being Happy Daily Degree.) In 1999, the first year I gave the course, students at SHU, having finished the course on happiness, wanted to continue learning and practicing happiness. As a result, in January 2000, we started the first Happiness Club meeting. We have met once a month in Fairfield ever since then. We discuss with and listen to various speakers covering all aspects of happiness and how to be happy.
At one of our meetings, a whole bunch of people made the decision to be happy. It was a lot of fun. We placed a stair-stepper in front of the room and had everyone individually take the HAPPINESS STEP UP. People got up on the stepper and proclaimed they had made the happiness decision. It was that easy.
One woman who got on the stepper, later shared with me the fact that she was 88 years old. She felt she had not really been happy her entire life. Now at 88 she is choosing to be happy! She had made the decision to live happily for the rest of her life. Later when I spoke to her, she said the sad thing is that she had missed out on being happy her whole life up to that point.
I said to her, "You and I have the same amount of time left. The fact is neither one of us knows how much time we have. My time may be up before yours, but the important thing is being happy now. We all don't know how much time we have left, and life is short, isn't it? So why not be happy right now!" This is a great decision to make.
You can be happy by being happy right now. "Being" incorporates many things; it includes: thinking, feeling, doing and it all gets rolled up into that state of being. The Dalai Lama says that happiness is the most important thing in the world. Read his book, The Art of Happiness.
I have a sign in my office with these words: BE HAPPY ZONE. You know, it's one of those large yellow road signs with black lettering. It's the kind of sign you would see on the roadside attached to a post. If it were up to me, I would love to see road signs in Towns all over the world saying: "Be happy Zone" or "Smiling Strictly Enforced!"
Happiness allows you to use effort in a positive way and minimize struggle. Who said you needed your emotions to deal with a situation. Worry never changed anything for the better. Isn't it true that most of what we worry about doesn't happen. Even if the worst were to happen, worry leaves you in a terrible state. Worry has you completely and negatively affected by the situation and out of control.
Being happy is actually a smart choice. When you're happy, you're able to function much better. You feel better. You operate in a better space. Life seems to go smoother. When you're happy, you stop struggling. You put out the effort, but without the struggle because you are learning to control your negative emotions.
Don't drive yourself crazy. Lighten up! Let's work on becoming our own best friend, and do what's best for us. Be Happy - It's The Law!
Lionel Ketchian is the founder of the Happiness Club, a Happiness Coach, and can be reached at PrintLRK@aol.com. The Web site is http://www.happinessclub.com.